15 Things
(Originally "20 Things" but I couldn't think of that many.)
The Rules
1. List fifteen things (or, hey, maybe 20) you wish you could say to people but can't. You can list the same people repeatedly.

2. Don't say who they are.

3. Never discuss it again.

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1. I'm not sad that we aren't friends anymore. I just feel bad for you now. I've known for about a year now that you weren't going anywhere in life (which is more apparent now than ever), and even longer than that I knew we weren't going to last as friends. You are so much like your mom, and that is not a good thing. You'll be 40 and living in the same shitty town without any money or even a job that's going anywhere.

2. I don't think I've ever really said it, but in my mind I have come to think of you as my best friend. I think our friendship might have been slightly stifled previously because of other friends I had, but I know now how awesome it is to have a friend like you, and how perfectly we mesh that way. You are kickass. I really don't know what I would do without our friendship because you always make me happy and everything. I want to let you know how much I appreciate you, and that sometimes I worry because I hold you so high in my mind and I don't think it comes across very much. The only thing complicated about our friendship is we don't ever talk about feelings and whatnot, but that just makes it blissfully uncomplicated sometimes.

3. I don't like you. Seriously, you may have no idea, but I can't stand you and how much you think you're so much better than everyone. I also hate you for all the ideas of mine you have taken credit for. That's bullshit. You can be fun to hang out with, but stop talking down to everyone because you're not as important as you'd like to think.

4. I know we're friends, but I'm afraid I'll just get lost in you shadow and everyone will know how awesome you are, and I'll just be that girl that hangs out with you. That's one of the reasons I tend to keep some space between us.

5. I used to like you, but I REALLY hate you sometimes. I don't think you're the same person anymore, but sometimes I really want you to be the way you used to be. I guess we're just not friends like we used to be, which is a bummer, but is understandable anyway. I have all sorts of mixed feelings when it comes to you.

6. Every now and again I think about it and wonder if it was a mistake turning you down and not making anything of us. But then I become sane again and realize I made the right decision. You're not a good candidate for a boyfriend. I just wish you didn't try to disappear when I let you know that.

7. You have a girlfriend, but I still think of you in ways I shouldn't sometimes. Nothing will ever happen, but it makes me feel guilty for ever even thinking about it.

8. I have to impress you, and I don't know why. Even when I just try to be me, I fuck it up. It's funny, because I don't even like you, but I still want something to happen, even though I know it won't.

9. We have a history and now I can't stand hanging out with you. I never know what to do around you, so I insult you. It's stupid, I know. And you still put up with me. Why do you do that? Furthermore, why are you always so horribly nice to me and compliment me? I don't get it.

10. I liked you, you were nice. But you chose the skinny girl and she cheated on you, so I guess I got the last laugh.

11. I hate how you talk about being so in love all the time because if you were really in love with him you wouldn't be talking about how delicious other guys are or hitting on every guy in sight all the time. I understand it's normal for people to use the term "love" a little haphazardly, but this is fucking ridiculous.

12. You'll be in a unhappy relationship for the rest of your life because you don't know how to be with a decent guy. He'll either treat you bad, or be a general failure at life because no good guys are going to put up with you. You are fucked up beyond all hope and you're never going to change. I don't wish anything bad to happen to you, but it's clear that you will never really be happy. Go ahead, prove me wrong. But at this point you pretty much completely suck at life. And it's not my problem, which is the best part.

13. I broke you two up. On purpose. Yeah, it was my fault. And, honestly, I've never really felt guilty about it.

14. I'm such a jealous person that I think it impairs our friendship. I want so much just to be happy for you, but I get stuck on how jealous I am whenever something good happens to you. I think it's getting better now though. I used to be way worse, so I'm definitely improving. But sometimes I still try to do things just to be better than you.

15. She brought you down and I fought for you, defended you. And now you call her your best friend. That's pretty fucking stupid in my book. But that's okay, she was your downfall. It was her influence on you that made you who you are today. Who you are today is not a good person in any way. So I guess she deserves you as her baggage.